Life is a show, a façade, a huge load of bull shit, put on to impress the people we hate, while doing the things we hate and nothing that makes us happy. Though we seem happy or cool in the eyes of social media, to the hundred followers that could really give two shits about who you truly are as a person; for some strange reason this matters to us. WHY? Who gives a flying fuck what other people think?! This mentality is destroying lives. It is creating unhappiness in our relationships, our jobs, and ourselves. We are so worried that someone might cast a negative judgement or not approve of how we have chosen to live our life outside of the standard box, that we create a life of unhappiness for ourselves in order to please people that aren’t even in our lives.
Well I tell you one thing, I couldn’t do it anymore. I wasn’t happy, nor did I try to portray that, but I was very negative and created a hardcore version of myself. Maybe I did this to protect myself, or maybe I did this to be cool, to be honest I don’t really know why. But all I know is that I was miserable and I couldn’t live like that anymore. It was toxic for my family and for myself. It created tension and negative energy and situations that were not serving any of us. I was naive in the area of actually living life with purpose. I am not religious at all, but I always said I was a spiritually person, never truly knowing what that even meant. I was a bad kid with hatred in my heart, judging everything about everyone all the time. And if you crossed me, boy there’d be hell to pay. Don’t get me wrong, I was kind, and loving, yes, but like I said, I was hardcore, a bad ass…you know, super cool! Or so I thought. And to be honest, living like that was so exhausting.
My moment of truth finally came when I was diagnosed with post partum depression and anxiety. Looking back at this situation now, it was a blessing. That moment was my rock bottom. I needed to change my out look on life. Through my 3 year journey to creating the best version of myself I have made many changes and learned many things, but the most mind altering was introducing the practice of gratitude and personal development. Learning that life is about the choices you make. And thanks to Mike Dooley, learning that thoughts become things. You think your life is shit, then it will be.
I posted a Facebook live the other day about gratitude and how I was so grateful for so many things in my day. One of my friends mentioned that her husband asked, ‘what’s up with her? Did she find God or something?’ And her response was, ‘no, she’s happy!’ Which was so right! Now my point is, the old me would have been so afraid for that comment, that judgement, heck the old me wouldn’t have even posted something like that out of the sheer fear of judgement. But I took that comment with great pride and I said to him, ‘thank you, I’m glad you said that. Because that’s what holds so many of us back from truly doing what we feel in our hearts. We’re afraid of what our friends might say.’ I was not offended nor was I hurt by this, as I knew that it wasn’t his intention, so I simply accepted it and moved on. You know what, on this journey I recognize that there will be people that judge and there will be people that no long want to be my friend anymore because they feel what I’m doing is weird, and I’m okay with that. They obviously are not worthy to be in my life anyhow. It can be a hard pill to swallow, especially if some of those people are near and dear to your heart. But if they aren’t serving you or providing positive vibes and support to your life and choices, then let them go without casting your own judgement.
I’ve learned that I need to live my life exactly how I want. To live my dream life, because I have the power to do that and I am worthy, we all are! So, living a life that you hate and is essentially killing you due to the fear of other’s opinions, beliefs and approval is just ludicrous! Stop doing that! Open you heart, live with love and kindness and gratitude. Respect others and their choices and dreams, support one another and mentor those young minds to do the same. Build a community and be true to yourself. Stop caring about what others think, and start living for you.
Change your thoughts, and you’ll change your world!